Headphones For Sale

Hey dead head-phones

Sad songs bringing you downstairs

Come upstairs

There's a playroom ready for you

Here in the Florida Everglads

You'll be glad you did

Unshackle your fears

Visit our brig

You'll be glad you did

If you've been played

Bogged down vacations

To places

Even the tour guides

Give you money to stay away

No red flags here

A happy

Jolly Roger

Takes all our tours

Due to a hostile takeover

Florida Everglads vacations

Now renamed

Last Gasp Tours

Hey dead head-phones

Blue-teeth is made better

Sampling

Curaçao Cocktails:

Unshackle your fears

Visit our brig

You'll be glad you did

Are you barely keeping

Your head above water

Our excursion team

Will insure

You're fully covered

No draining of the swamp

Allowed

In the Florida Everglads

Our airboat captains

Never water down

The Wally Gaters

Taking a bite of your life

Unshackle your fears

Visit our brig

You'll be glad you did

Please note our gift store

Has hundreds of used

"dead head"-repaired

Pirated phones for sale

Um, John... José here... It's supposed to say "Quality phones for sale."

For reservations — Gasparilla Last Gasp Tours Reg 2026

A Division of Bermuda Triangle Last Gasp Excursions Reg 1783

President José Gaspar

© 2026 John Osinga. All rights reserved. St. Thomas, Ontario, Canada.